Divorce Mediation


Tools and Resources to Teach You Mindfulness in the Context of your Divorce

If you’ve been following our blog series with family therapist and mindfulness teacher Joree Rose, you’ll have seen how mindfulness can bring immense benefits to your divorce journey. Being mindful can help you feel calmer, be proactive, control your emotions, and become less inclined to take other people’s comments or…

What to Do When You’re Boiling Over with Divorce-Related Rage

It’s normal to feel a sense of rage at one point or another in your divorce journey. You might feel it every now and then, such as when thinking about specific hurtful things that your spouse did or said during the marriage. Or it might be simmering all the time,…

How to Avoid Taking Other People’s Words, Actions, and Emotions Personally

When going through a divorce, you might feel particularly sensitive about how others perceive you. As you make life-changing decisions and grapple with the many changes divorce brings, it’s normal to have a heightened need for reassurance from those around you. The problem comes when your sensitivity or insecurity leads…

Can Mediation Work if You Don’t Trust Your Spouse?

It’s a fair question. If your relationship was overflowing with trust, perhaps one or both of you wouldn’t want a divorce. But though trust issues can certainly doom a marriage, they don’t necessarily mean the end of the mediation process. Every day, people who don’t want to be married anymore,…

What Will Get You “Cancelled” in Divorce? Don’t Do These 3 Divorce No-Nos.

Maintaining a civil relationship with your spouse during the divorce process can be a real challenge, but it is worth it in the end. Being civil, if not amicable, during divorce often translates into: A faster and smoother transition to your post-divorce life A happier co-parenting relationship Better-adjusted children Thousands…

A Crash Course in Negotiating from a Position of Strength for Those About to Head into Mediation

Mediation can seem like a daunting experience, especially if the relationship between you and the party you are negotiating with is strained. Heading into these discussions from a position of strength can give you the confidence to clearly make your case and stay focused throughout the process. Inner strength is…

Chris Voss and the FBI Approach to Divorce

When you’re looking up the most stressful jobs in the world, a hostage negotiator such as Chris Voss is right up there at the top of the list. These agents are dealing with volatile personalities in high-stress situations all day long. They face unpredictable clients and, unlike even the toughest…

Understanding the Head and the Heart: The Legal and Emotional Entanglement of Divorce

Divorce: The Intersection of the Legal and the Emotional  Divorce rattles even the most confident person’s sense of herself. It’s nobody’s plan. And yet, the divorce rate in America remains at near half of all marriages. The emotional toll of divorce can leave you feeling guilty, anxious and depressed. But,…

Successfully Navigating Mediation: Beyond the Myths and Misconceptions

In this series of posts, we’ve begun an in-depth conversation about divorce mediation—from the strategies that empower participants to reach resolutions to how the psychological muscles you build during mediation help you succeed in the life you want, post-divorce. Let’s discuss a few of the major themes we’ve discussed, as…

How Mediation Can Help Resolve Your Divorce

Mediation is a way for spouses to resolve their divorce outside the courtroom in a private, neutral, non-adversarial process. Families can benefit from choosing mediation instead of litigation in several different ways. Sometimes people focus on the fact that mediation tends to be less expensive than litigation but that is…

Finding Happiness with Life Lessons Learned in Mediation

One of the most frustrating and disappointing thoughts about divorce is that it’s an un-doing, a move in reverse, when we want is to feel that we’re making progress. But the skills you learn during a divorce can actually help you. And that’s even more relevant for the tools you…

Mediation of All Shapes and Sizes

While divorce mediations have underlying human emotions that naturally surface in negotiations. The cases themselves are as varied as marriages—or divorces. Some involve spouses who respect each other, but have come to the conclusion that they shouldn’t be married. Some cases involve betrayal. Others, a slow burn of frustration. Variety…

Clarifying Your Needs in a Negotiation: the Power of the BATNA

You feel vulnerable. You don’t totally trust the other party in a negotiation. What can you do to make the situation less unnerving? Strategies abound. But one of the most interesting ideas is surprisingly simple. Technically speaking, it’s known as the BATNA, short for “Best Alternative to Negotiated Arrangement”. Authors…

Divorce and Social Security Benefits

Divorce is never easy no matter what age a person may be.  It is often a lengthy and challenging process which requires the divorcing couple to negotiate the division of their property and make choices which will affect their financial future for many years to come.  For older individuals, one…

The Law: Does It Add to or Take Away from Divorce Negotiations?

What is the role of the law in divorce negotiations? It’s actually a huge question and worthy of consideration, not only by professionals who work with separating and divorcing families but by those families themselves. There is often a tension between a lawyer’s view of the right outcome as informed by…

4 Questions to Determine if Mediation is Right for You

{2:51 minutes to read} The decision to divorce initiates a series of many challenging and difficult decisions, often starting with: What do I do now? What are the right questions to ask? Is divorce mediation right for me? The following four yes/no questions provide a guide for determining if the…

Why’s It SO HARD for People to Finish Divorce?

{5:00 minutes to read} One thing that is a very well known professional phenomenon is that, when people get toward the end of a negotiation, something comes up. Usually, a relatively small something becomes very emotionally significant to the parties that stops them from settling, right before the end. I…

Consulting or Review Attorneys in Mediation – Part 2

  {3:45 minutes to read} In my last article, I discussed the role of review attorneys in mediation. In this continuation, I’ll discuss the role of a consulting attorney in comparison. Where the review attorney is usually brought into a mediation toward the end of the process, the consulting attorney…

Consulting or Review Attorneys in Mediation – Part 1

{6:00 minutes to read} It’s a really good idea for a divorcing couple in mediation to have a consulting or review attorney to act as a matrimonial medium.  What is the role of attorneys in a mediation? Sometimes parties believe that lawyers are a threat to the mediation process itself.…

Can Lawyers Be Peacemakers?

{4:30 minutes to read} Oftentimes, in our modern culture, we think of lawyers as advocates, champions or warriors, but that is really a very newfangled idea—and possibly a misguided one.  (more…)

3 Important Things to Look for in a Mediator

{3:30 minutes to read} You’re looking for a mediator? Below are 3 important things to look for in your search. (more…)

High Conflict Couples and Resistance Towards Mediation

Recently, I had an interview with Bill Eddy on my radio show Dialogue on Divorce. Bill discussed the changing path Divorce Mediation has taken in the last 10 years, particularly as it affects high-conflict couples, Bill’s area of expertise. Before then, mediation was really just people who were motivated.  They…

Making Peace with Your Ex

What does it mean to make peace with your ex?  This is a tough question.  When people feel their ex-spouse betrayed them deeply perhaps simultaneously betraying their children, making peace often feels like letting the ex “get away with it.”  It feels to many people that somehow someone has to…

The Magic of Neutrality

I have been a mediator for 25 years and in that time I have certainly heard amazing stories and I have also learned a few surprising things.  Perhaps the most amazing thing I have learned is the magic of neutrality.  Here’s what I mean... People in conflict of any kind…

Conflict Resolution: Change Your Perspective

Find some objectivity in order to translate conflict into problem solving. I have an old and dear friend who I value for her willingness to ask me the hard questions and tell me the truth no matter what.  Of course, I appreciate the support of all my friends but I…

8 Advantages to Mediation

There are a few non-traditional models of divorce that don't force you and your spouse to drag your family into court. I've posted before about one of these models in the 8 Advantages to Collaborative Divorce. Like Collaborative Divorce, mediation offers an alternative, private way to separate and avoid litigation.…


Say “No” to Divorce Litigation and “Yes” to Collaborative Divorce (March 5, 2014)

Radio Shows


Divorce a High Conflict Spouse

Divorce a High Conflict Spouse

Are You A Good Fit For Divorce Mediation

Are You a Good Fit for Mediation?

Becoming a Mediator

Becoming a Mediator!

How to Fight Effectively

How to Fight Effectively

Tactical Empathy

Tactical Empathy: A Negotiation Technique

Will Mediation Work For Me

Will Mediation Work for Me?

How Does Divorce Mediation Work

How Does Divorce Mediation Work

A Mediation Story

A Mediation Story

Finding Justice in Mediation

How to Fight Effectively

Simeon Baum shares with us his experience with Mediation, and all the possible scenarios in which it is helpful!

Have you ever wondered what are the advantages of Mediation? For Mediation Week, we share some of the great benefits of Virtual Mediation

Catherine Conner joins us to explain a little bit more about mediation, and her perspectives to it.

getting divorced without losing your dignity

Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Dignity

mediation vs med r

What’s the Difference Between Mediation & Med-Arb?

negotiating with bullies

Tips on Negotiating with Bullies

mediating with high-conflict exes

Tips For Mediating With High-Conflict Exes

How to divorce with dignity

It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way: How To Divorce With Dignity

What does the process of mediating the valuation of a business look like?

What are the benefits of utilizing mediation to resolve a business dispute?

It's funny, but business disputes are often with people with whom you spend more time than with your own family. When relationships matter, it really makes sense to pay attention to how you're going to make the decisions, not just what the decisions are. If you hope to have a…
What is the difference between mediation and collaborative divorce and which one is right for me?

What is the difference between Mediation and Collaborative Divorce?

People often wonder what the difference is between mediation and collaborative divorce. The difference is that in mediation, although the parties usually have attorneys, those attorneys in a family mediation rarely come into the room. Instead, the parties discuss their situation with their attorneys outside the room and come in…

How does the mediation process play out?

In mediation, people come to a series of facilitated meetings with the mediator and themselves and they identify the issues that need to be resolved. They gather the information that they need and create a shared understanding of their economic reality and then talk about what's important to them and…

What are some of the advantages of mediation as opposed to traditional divorce?

Mediation is a wonderful process for people who want to make their own decisions on their own based on the reference points that are important to them. In mediation, people work together with a neutral mediator who facilitates a conversation. Typically they do have attorneys, but those attorneys are not…

Can mediation and collaboration lessen the negative impact of divorce on our kids?

When I was a litigating attorney, I realized that even with all parties wanting to keep the children out of it, there was no way. There was no way in the litigation process to not use the children to some extent in the negotiation between the parents. In mediation and…

What is mediation in the context of family law?

In a mediated divorce, the parties meet with the mediator who doesn’t represent either person, but helps them identify, discuss, and ultimately resolve the issues that they face in order to get divorce. Typically in a divorce mediation, the parties have attorneys, but those attorneys don’t come into the mediation…

How can I know if a lawyer is a good match for me?

When you make a decision to interview divorce lawyers, you should interview more than one. While you're sitting with that person, you should think to yourself, "Does this person understand me? Is this person going to take an approach that makes sense to me? Am I going to feel a…

How are experts in various fields utilized in Collaborative Law?

One of the advantages of the collaborative process is that we're able to work with various professionals in order to target the various elements of the divorce. One possibility is to work with a financial neutral. It's a financial neutral's job from a neutral stance to gather the information about…

What are some of the key differences between Collaborative Law and Mediation?

Sometimes people wonder what some of the key differences are between collaborative law and mediation. I think it's best to answer this question in this way. How will you know whether or not the collaborative process is better for you or whether or not the mediation process is better for…


Sign up for our free monthly newsletter with useful collaborative divorce tips!