APPROACHING DIVORCE IN A CHILD-CENTERED WAY
No parent wants to hurt their children, yet the conflict dynamic that generally accompanies the divorce process can be very painful, particularly in a litigated case. Even parents with the best of intentions inadvertently engage in behaviors that seem innocuous to them—but cause their kids distress. The collaborative process seeks to approach divorce in a child-centered way, and the divorce coach is tasked with educating parents in how children experience divorce.
Micki McWade is an experienced collaborative divorce coach, psychotherapist and parent educator. She has been working in the space since 1993, when she designed the Twelve Step Divorce Recovery Group model. She continues to facilitate Twelve Step groups and teach Parents Apart classes, which help parents recognize and avoid the pitfalls of divorce for children. Micki has been on the faculty of several national conferences, and she serves as a trainer of basic and advanced collaborative practice. She is the author of four books about recovering from divorce and the collaborative process.
Today, Micki sits down with Katherine to discuss the role of the divorce coach in the collaborative process, explaining how she facilitates communication between the divorcing partners and helps them both feel heard and understood. She speaks to the child-centered nature of the process and offers insight around behaviors that hurt children during and after their parents’ divorce. Listen in for information about the 12-step recovery group Micki facilitates and learn how it supports people in transitioning to a new reality after divorce.
The role of the divorce coach in the collaborative process
How the divorce coach reinterprets dialogue to reduce tension
How feeling heard and understood establishes trust
How mental health professionals in the collaborative setting put children first
Micki’s insight around behaviors that hurt children in the divorce process
The notion of parents as the ‘executive committee’
The value in learning to communicate with your ex in a constructive manner
How mediation and collaborative approach divorce in a child-centered way
Micki’s 12-step separation and divorce recovery group
- Support through ‘gateway to new reality’
- Move forward, overcome feelings of isolation
CONNECT WITH MICKI MCWADE
Healing You, Healing Me: A Divorce Group Leader’s Guide by Micki McWade
CONNECT WITH KATHERINE MILLER
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller