Breaking Through Divorce Barriers

Sometimes, things just seem impossible.
And when you’re going through a divorce, that feeling can come up a lot.

I’m Katherine Miller.
I’ve been a divorce attorney in New York City, New York State, and Connecticut for over 30 years.

In divorce negotiations, we sometimes hit what we call an impasse—a point where everything feels stuck. You’re trying to make progress, but nothing is moving forward. It can feel like the only way out is through the courtroom.

But before you go there, I have three tips that might help you break through the impasse—and they may be easier than you think.

1. Silence.
Just wait. Wait a few days, maybe even a few weeks. It might seem hard to do, but time really can shift things. In fact, it often does. The passage of time and space can open doors that felt completely shut.

2. Change how you’re talking.
Take a look at how the conversation is unfolding. Do you need to change your tone, your language, or maybe even the person communicating? Bringing in a neutral mediator to guide the discussion can make a big difference. Sometimes, changing how you’re talking is enough to move things forward.

3. Get curious about what’s really going on.
Ask yourself: What’s this really about? Is it truly about the frequent flyer miles? Is it really about the towels? Or is there something deeper driving the conflict? Try to understand your own position—and also what might be happening emotionally for your ex. That insight alone can shift the whole conversation.

Any one of these three tips might help.
But together? They’re often a magic pill that gets you unstuck.

This video is actually based on a blog post I wrote a few years ago about a personal experience I went through. I’ll drop the link in the comments below. While you’re there, take a look around—our website has tons of valuable resources.

Don’t hesitate to reach out on our email address info@miller-law.com or call us at (914) 685-9805.
Thanks for listening.