Are You a Good Fit for Mediation?
A lot of people considering divorce also wonder whether mediation could work for them. With presumptive mediation becoming more common in New York these days, it’s a great question to ask. I’m Katherine Miller, and I’ve been a divorce mediator and attorney in New York for over 30 years. Here are some tips to help you determine if mediation might be a good fit for you. Not all of these points need to match your situation, but if many of them do, mediation could be a great choice.
First, both of you need to agree that divorce is the right path at this time. If one of you isn’t on the same page, it will be much harder to work together successfully in mediation.
Second, you should have similar goals for what the divorce should look like, and you both want it to be fair to each other.
Third, you have reasonably good communication. This doesn’t mean you have to be holding hands or singing kumbaya, but you should be able to speak in each other’s presence, take in a bit of what the other person is saying, and not feel completely overwhelmed.
Fourth, there should be no domestic violence or other threatening behavior. While very structured mediation can sometimes work in situations involving domestic violence, as a general rule, it’s not advisable.
Fifth, and this is super important: you must be ready to work. In mediation, you and your spouse will be doing most of the talking, understanding, and negotiating, with the help of the mediator and possibly your attorneys. But you must be prepared to put in the effort.
Sixth, you should feel reasonably comfortable reading financial documents. You need to be able to understand the numbers without being overwhelmed by anxiety, because financial understanding is crucial in mediation.
Finally, you need to be honest, open, and fair. If you come into the process thinking that it can’t work for you if it works for them, then mediation isn’t going to be successful. The same goes for your spouse.
If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out on our email address info@miller-law.com or call us at (914) 685-9805. Thanks for listening.