Empowering Families

Hey, Katherine Miller here again. In the original guide you downloaded, we included seven great habits. In this email, we’re suggesting a few more, and here’s why.

One thing I’ve experienced over my 35 years as a divorce lawyer, and in my own divorce, is the significant amount of self-judgment that happens during the divorce process. You’re often asked to sort through your expenses, assets, and liabilities, which can bring up a lot of self-criticism. You might think, “I shouldn’t have spent that much,” or “I shouldn’t owe that much on my credit card.” Listen, give yourself a break. It is what it is. This is your lifestyle. Try not to engage in negative self-talk. You don’t have to constantly tell yourself you’re great, especially regarding things you wish you had done differently.

Give yourself a break. Like every other human being on the planet, you’ve done some things well and some things you wish you’d done differently. But it is what it is. As lawyers, we’re not here to judge you. The courts aren’t here to make you feel bad. We’re here to help you get through this and reach the other side. If you want to make a different plan moving forward, this is your opportunity to do that.

I think of divorce as the intersection between what was and what will be. I encourage you to really think about what will be—not just in terms of empty New Year’s resolutions, but genuinely consider what you want, why you want it, and how you’re going to get there. Then, put some habits and structures in place and get the help you need to reach those new goals.