Empowering Families

I recently had the opportunity to interview Bill Carmody on my podcast, Divorce Dialogues. Bill Carmody is the Chief Coaching Officer at Positive Intelligence and the author of The Three Rules of Marriage. One of the things I love about my podcast is that, as a divorce lawyer, I get to interview a variety of experts on relationship advice.

I’m Katherine Miller, and I’ve been a divorce attorney in New York City and New York State for over 30 years. During my interview with Bill Carmody, he shared three essential rules to help make your marriage work, and I’m excited to share them with you today.

Rule #1: Don’t Keep Score
This means avoiding the habit of tracking what you or your partner has done, as it’s backward-looking and doesn’t contribute to moving forward. Instead, focus on building your relationship day by day with a loving and supportive approach.

Rule #2: Express Appreciation More Than “I Love You”
Bill suggests that it’s more impactful to say, “I appreciate you” and explain why. For example, acknowledge specific actions like, “I appreciate that you emptied the dishwasher today” or “I appreciate how you always bring me flowers on Fridays.” This helps to foster the behaviors you value and strengthen your relationship.

Rule #3: Never Go to Bed Angry
While it can be challenging due to different ways people process anger, discussing what’s bothering you before you go to sleep can significantly improve your relationship.

Bill’s interview will air on WVOX on June 21st and will be available as a podcast shortly after. Visit the podcast website, Divorce Dialogues, or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Thanks for listening!