Debunking Mediation Myths

In New York State, 97% of divorces settle before a judge makes a decision. Nationwide, that percentage is 95%. So, statistically speaking, if you’re getting divorced, you’re overwhelmingly likely to make decisions yourself before a judge makes them for you. I’m Katherine Miller. I’ve been a mediator and divorce lawyer in New York City and New York State for over 30 years, and in my experience, divorce mediation really works. If you go to a mediator before finding yourself in court, you’re 97% likely to settle. So why not do it before investing the time and expense of litigation?

Recently, some common objections to mediation have been raised, and I thought it would be a good idea to address them:

  1. Attorney Involvement: Some attorneys object to mediation because they feel it might exclude them from the negotiation process, but that’s simply not true. Attorneys can fully participate in the mediation sessions. As a mediator, I find it incredibly helpful to have attorneys in the room, and as an attorney, I also like to be present during my client’s mediation. This allows me to support my client in reaching a resolution that makes sense for them in the moment, which can be beneficial for both the client and the entire family.
  2. Disclosure: Another concern is whether people will have enough information during mediation to make informed decisions. Some argue that necessary information won’t be disclosed, but that’s not what I’ve experienced. In fact, when information sharing is voluntary rather than mandated by a court or formal discovery process, people are often more honest and open, sharing even beyond what’s required. For example, in the confidential setting of a mediator’s office, someone might discuss aspects of a cash business that they wouldn’t disclose in a court-supervised setting.
  3. Protection: There’s also a fear of not being protected, with some believing the court will safeguard them from unknown risks. One way to ensure protection in mediation is to have your attorney present if you’re concerned about any power imbalance. This is part of the process in developing a mediation strategy. Make no mistake, mediation offers certain protections that litigation does not, and it’s always a give-and-take process.

Don’t hesitate to reach out on our email address info@miller-law.com or call us at (914) 685-9805. Thanks for listening.