How Do You Tell Your Spouse You Want A Divorce

tell you spouse

How do you tell your spouse you want a divorce? I’m Katherine Miller, and I’ve been a divorce attorney in New York for over 30 years. In my experience, many of my clients wish they had approached this conversation differently.

If you’re having an affair, do not leave a journal with graphic details for your spouse to find. Make sure it’s securely stored. Sometimes, people unconsciously leave such a journal out in a desperate attempt to hint at their situation. Even if it seems like a mistake, you’d be surprised at how often clients realize they inadvertently exposed themselves this way. Avoid this pitfall if you’re in that situation.

Another scenario to avoid is having your spouse find out about your divorce through a call from your girlfriend or boyfriend’s spouse. This can be incredibly damaging and complicate negotiations. Whether or not an affair is involved, not telling your spouse about your desire for a divorce is never easy.

Here are a few more things to steer clear of:

  • Avoid telling them in the heat of a screaming argument. It’s important to manage how the message is delivered to set yourself up for a better outcome. Think of this as the beginning of your negotiation, and you want to approach it thoughtfully.

Thanks for listening.