How To Co-Parent Successfully?
Take it from me—the hardest part of post-divorce life is co-parenting. I’m Katherine Miller. I’ve been a matrimonial and family lawyer in New York City and Westchester County for over 30 years, and I’m also a divorced parent. I’ve come up with three tips to help you do a better job and make life easier for both you and your children.
First, over-communicate, and do so in writing. Make sure that every conversation about logistics—like who’s going to do what, when the pickups are, and when the games are—happens via text or email. If it doesn’t, be sure to confirm it in writing afterward. This has saved me so many times in my co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband, I can’t even begin to tell you.
Second, honor your agreements. I have to admit, I wasn’t always good at this. What I mean is, stick to what’s been agreed upon. For example, if the agreement says that he’ll pick up the kids at five, make sure you’re ready. I used to think being 15 minutes late wasn’t a big deal, but it caused a lot of unnecessary conflict. If I could do it over again, I’d make sure to be on time—or even early—because you never know what might delay you, like traffic or a missing shoe. These things happen all the time when you’re dealing with kids, as you probably know.
Finally, focus on the future, not the past. The co-parenting relationship isn’t going to fix what was wrong in the marriage, nor will it change what drives you crazy about your ex. You need to focus on your children and work together to create the best possible co-parenting relationship. I promise you, it’s in your best interest and, more importantly, in the best interest of your kids.