How to Manage the Stress of Divorce?
Stress is a real killer, and when you’re going through a divorce, stress levels can skyrocket. I’m Katherine Miller, and I’ve been a divorce attorney in New York City and New York State for over 30 years, so I completely understand how stressful it can be—I’ve experienced it myself. I’m also the host of the podcast Divorce Dialogues, which Iā€™ve been hosting for nine years. During that time, Iā€™ve spoken to many experts about how to manage stress, as well as a variety of other topics. Iā€™ve compiled four tips that might help you manage the stress of divorceā€”or frankly, anything else. Ready?
The first tip is to write. Journaling is a great way to get everything that’s stressing you out out of your head and onto paper. Even if you’re thinking, “Ugh, I hate journaling,” (and honestly, I’m kind of in that camp too), when I’m stressed, it really helps to write things down. The brain processes the written word differently than it does when talking or thinking, so journaling can be a powerful tool for managing stress.
The second tip is to get some social support. Don’t isolate yourself, even though it can be tempting. You might think, “My friends don’t want to hear about this,” or “I don’t have any friends anymore,” or “It’s awkward to bring it up.” But it’s really important to talk to people and feel like you’re part of a community. Even if it means joining a new community, find one and participate. Social support is something everyone needs.
The third tip is to try meditation. I know it sounds difficult, but I don’t mean you have to sit in the lotus position with your hands on your knees like a Buddha. Even just counting your breaths for five minutes can help. Personally, I like to breathe in for four counts and out for six, focusing on bringing the air into my belly. This practice helps calm my nervous system—not just making me feel better, but actually making me calmer. There are even apps and devices that can prove this effect.
The fourth tip is exercise. Sometimes, when I’m overwhelmed with a problem, it feels like the end of the world. But after a workout, that same problem seems much more manageable. So get some exercise, whether it’s going for a brisk walk with a friend, walking the dog, going to the gym, or taking a class you enjoy. Exercise will help you feel better and improve your overall health.
There are two things I’d like you to do. First, I’ve put together a PDF with more information about these four tips. You can download it on this link. And second, subscribe to Divorce Dialogues. Itā€™s available wherever you listen to podcasts, and thereā€™s a lot more useful information there. Thanks for listening.
Let me know if you