How To Start The Divorce Process
How does divorce start? It’s a question many people have, and the answer really depends on whether you begin with legal action or with negotiation. I’m Katherine Miller, and I’ve been a divorce attorney in New York City and New York State for over 30 years. Let me explain how this process typically works.
In New York, 97% of divorces are settled before a judge makes a decision after a trial. This means that, even if the court gets involved, the divorce will likely be resolved through negotiation. You’ll negotiate the terms and eventually sign a contract that incorporates all those terms. However, even after signing the contract, you’re not officially divorced until a judge signs off on it, declaring that you are no longer married.
There are two ways to start this process. First, you can begin with legal action. In this scenario, you don’t have to inform your spouse immediately. You can simply file a summons or a summons and complaint, which opens a file in the courthouse indicating that someone wants a divorce. Essentially, it’s a way of saying, “Stand by while we figure out the next steps.” In New York, you have 120 days—four months—to serve your spouse with this notice. There are many details involved, so it’s a good idea to consult with a lawyer about it.
On the other hand, and this is what most people do, you can start by discussing it with your spouse. You might say, “I’d like a divorce. This isn’t working out.” This initiates a conversation about divorcing and how you’ll make decisions regarding parenting, division of assets and liabilities, and cash flow, including child support and maintenance (which is what we call alimony in New York).
Last week, I made a video about the difference between contested and uncontested divorces, and many of those differences stem from how you start the divorce process and which options you choose. If you have any questions about how to begin the process in the best way for you, I encourage you to call our office. It’s completely complimentary, and I think you’ll find it very helpful.
Thanks for listening.