Is Your Marriage Bad Enough to Call It Quits?
A lot of people are wondering these days if their marriage is bad enough to call it quits. I’m Katherine Miller, founder of the Miller Law Group and host of the podcast Divorce Dialogues, and I’m on a mission to change how people divorce—helping them to divorce with dignity.
People have a powerful ability to adapt to unhappiness. Frequently, clients share stories about the deterioration of their marriage, and as I listen, I see the realization dawning on their faces of just how bad things have gotten. It’s as if they’ve slowly adapted to unhappiness over the years without even noticing. You’ve probably heard the story about the frog and the pot of water. The idea is that if you put a frog in a pot of water and slowly turn up the heat, the frog will boil to death before it realizes anything is wrong.
I think a lot of people are feeling that “heat” being turned up in their marriages, especially with the added stress of living through difficult times. This can cause cracks in the relationship to become more visible, leading many to wonder, “Is this bad enough to call it quits?”
For some, like the frog, the change happens gradually over time, and only now are they realizing, Wait a second, I am really unhappy in this marriage and I need to do something. Or maybe you’ve finally reached a breaking point where you’re saying, Enough is enough—I deserve something better. Perhaps the thought of growing old with this person fills you with dread. Whatever the reason, many people also come to see us because their spouse has decided that the marriage is over, and they need to figure out what to do next.
Let me be clear—every marriage has its ups and downs. I don’t think you should call a divorce lawyer after the first big fight or rough weekend. But at some point, if the marriage seems to be on a downward spiral with no hope in sight and both partners are growing increasingly miserable, it may be time to consider your options. Many people are afraid of divorce. They’ve heard stories like The War of the Roses. I get it—I was the first person in my family to get divorced, and it wasn’t an easy decision. I worried about my children, my extended family, and my community. But ultimately, the decision to divorce was the right one for me. It wasn’t the nightmare I feared, and it doesn’t have to be that way for you either.
If you’re questioning whether your marriage is bad enough to end, we’re here to help. We can talk through your options and help you decide what’s best for you. One of the most important decisions you’ll make in the divorce process is how you choose to divorce. You have options, and we’re here to guide you in making the best one for your situation.
Don’t hesitate to reach out on our email address info@miller-law.com or call us at (914) 685-9805. Thanks for listening