Should You DIY Your Divorce?

DIY Your Divorce

I hate my spouse and I want to get divorced. Can I do it myself? People ask this all the time, and here’s the answer. Before I tell you, let me introduce myself. I’m Katherine Miller, and I’ve been a divorce attorney in New York City and New York State for over 35 years. So, I believe I’m pretty qualified to answer this question.

Can you handle your divorce yourself (DIY)? The answer is maybe. I have to tell you, when I got divorced, even I couldn’t do it myself, and this is my profession. So, here’s when you might be able to do it yourself:

You could probably manage it if you haven’t been married that long, don’t have children, or already have a written agreement about your children and how you’re going to support them. If there’s really not much to fight about, you might consider getting some help, and here’s why:

The three main areas in a divorce are:

  1. Parenting: This pertains to minor children under the age of 21. How are you going to share their time and make decisions? If this part is easy, you might be able to handle it yourself.
  2. Assets and Liabilities: How will you divide what you own, determine its worth, and handle what you owe, such as credit card debt? If this part is straightforward, DIY might be feasible.
  3. Cashflow: This includes child support and maintenance (what we call alimony in New York). If alimony is not an issue and you have children under 21, you’ll need to figure out how to support them. The court won’t let you divorce without a clear, written document with specific calculations for support.

For these reasons, you might want to get some help. There’s an office in the courthouse for those filling out divorce papers themselves, which can be helpful. You could call the office and ask for assistance to make the process as smooth as possible.

If you really hate your spouse, and they hate you, with a lot of conflict preventing discussion, hiring a mediator to facilitate these conversations might be beneficial. It’s not quite DIY, but it’s close.

If you have any questions, contact us.