Empowering Families

If you’re facing a divorce and want to focus on kindness and effective communication rather than conflict, mediation might be a great option for you. I’m Katherine Miller, a divorce mediator and attorney with over 30 years of experience in New York City and New York State. Today, I’d like to share a thought that came to mind while discussing the mediation process with clients.

Remember the childhood game of telephone? It’s a classic game where we’d line up, and the person at the end of the line would whisper a message to the next person. Each person would then whisper what they heard to the next, until the message reached the front of the line. By then, the message was often hilariously distorted compared to the original.

This game is a perfect metaphor for what can happen in divorce negotiations involving multiple intermediaries. Imagine a husband communicates a proposal to his attorney, who then relays it to the wife’s attorney. The wife’s attorney communicates back to her, and she might react with shock or frustration. This reaction is then relayed back through the attorneys, leading to further confusion and miscommunication. It’s a classic game of “telephone” where the original message gets lost or altered, leading to misunderstandings and conflict.

In mediation, however, you get to speak directly with one another. This direct communication helps prevent the message distortion and misunderstandings that can occur with multiple layers of communication. The mediator’s role is to facilitate this dialogue, clarify any misunderstandings, and help both parties navigate challenging moments with respect and dignity.

One of the most valuable aspects of mediation is its ability to maintain kindness and respect, even during difficult discussions. By talking directly and having a mediator guide the conversation, you can address misunderstandings immediately and work towards a fair resolution without the added stress of miscommunications.

If you’re considering mediation and want to know if it’s the right approach for you, click the link below to access our PDF guide on whether mediation might work for your situation. If you have any questions or need to discuss your options further, don’t hesitate to give us a call. We’re here to help.