Tips For Mediating With High-Conflict Exes
A lot of people are considering divorce today, and unfortunately, as this pandemic continues, even more people will be contemplating it. Additionally, with courts closed and likely to be slow to reopen, many are looking into mediation as an alternative. If you’re worried about mediating with a high-conflict spouse, I have some tips for you.
I’m Katherine Miller, founder of the Miller Law Group, and I’m on a mission to change how people divorce, helping them do so with dignity. Here are some tips to help you navigate the mediation process:
- Have a Written Plan: Document what’s important to you and what’s less so. Having a concrete idea of your goals and priorities will help you stay on course, especially when negotiations become tough. Refer back to your written plan to stay focused and organized.
- Remember, You Can Walk Out: This is especially relevant for video conferencing mediation. You are not trapped in the session. You have the power to end it on your terms if you feel overwhelmed or pressured by the other party.
- Ask for a Timeout: If you’re not ready to walk out but need a break, request a timeout. Use this time to step away, get some fresh air, have a drink of water or coffee, or consult with your attorney, therapist, coach, or advisor. You control the timing of the mediation, not your high-conflict spouse.
- Lean on Experts: It’s beneficial to have both an attorney and a mental health professional supporting you through this process. This is a significant decision involving many important choices, and you don’t have to face it alone.
- Focus on the Future: Concentrate on what you want moving forward rather than dwelling on past grievances. Keep your negotiation focused on your future goals and the plans you envision.
If you’d like to discuss whether mediation is the right choice for you, don’t hesitate to reach out on our email address info@miller-law.com or call us at (914) 685-9805. Thanks for listening