You Want a Prenup, Your Significant Other Does Not

You love your partner and have confidence in your future marriage, but you think entering a prenuptial agreement is wise. Your partner feels hurt that you’re even considering it. Is there anything you can do to move past this stalemate?

Absolutely. Most prenup-adverse people are afraid. They’re scared that the agreement reflects a lack of faith in the marriage or will doom it, somehow. Here’s how you can allay those fears and persuade your partner to enter a prenup that protects both of you.

1. Raise the issue well in advance of the wedding

Try to approach the issue as early as possible–ideally, before you get engaged. Bringing it up while deep in the throes of wedding planning can make an already sensitive topic even more fraught with emotion. Discussing it earlier gives your partner time to get used to the idea and puts less pressure on them.

2. Plan for the conversation

Avoid raising the topic on the spur of the moment. Choose a time when neither of you is under particular stress, and you’ll have time to talk without interruption. Think about what you want to say in advance and what you can do to reassure your partner during the discussion.

3. Emphasize how a prenup can empower both of you

Show your partner that you want the agreement to work to their advantage and your own. If your future spouse has a substantially lower income than you or is more likely to give up their career to raise children, discuss how the prenup can ensure that they will be pretty taken care of in the unlikely event of a divorce. For example, you might put aside a certain amount of money in their name every month or commit to sharing an agreed-upon percentage of your retirement savings. Let your partner see that you can work as a team on creating the prenup, just as you’ll work together on other thorny issues that will arise during your marriage.

4. Clearly explain your reasons for wanting a prenup

Don’t assume that your partner understands why you want a prenup. They may be so caught up in the negative connotations that they haven’t stopped to think about it from a practical perspective. Your future spouse may be much more sympathetic to the idea of you wanting to protect your children’s financial interests or property from a prior relationship, for example, than a blanket statement that you want a prenup.

5. Frame it as an act of love

Although you fully intend for the marriage to last until death, do your part; divorce stats say that no one can be sure of a happily ever after. You can be sure, however, that you love each other and want to always treat each other with respect and care. Ironically, a prenup is an excellent way of honoring your love. If life doesn’t go as planned, this document can ensure that you both remain protected by the love that you share right now.

How Can We Help?

To learn more about prenuptial agreements or get answers to your questions, reach out to Miller Law Group for a consultation today.

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