Divorce Resources and Guidance at Miller Law Group

Protecting Your Credit Score During and After Divorce in New York

Divorce

Divorce deeply impacts your financial independence and creditworthiness. To avoid issues renting apartments or securing mortgages, you must take proactive...

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Divorce Roadblocks: Five Mindset Shifts That Can Change Everything

Divorce

The thought patterns running through your mind during divorce—the need to “win,” the fixation on fairness, the wait for perfect...

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Financial Preparation Checklist: 30 Days Before Filing for Divorce in New York

Divorce

The month before filing for divorce is your strategic window to gather critical financial documentation, secure your independence, and position...

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The Divorce Mindset: Why Emotional Intelligence, Not Anger, Wins the Future

Divorce, Preparing for divorce

Introduction: Divorce Is More Than a Legal Ending Divorce is one of life’s most emotional and life-changing transitions. It marks...

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Marriage Contracts & Undue Influence: What are your next steps?

Divorce, Prenups & Postnups, Preparing for divorce

Marriage contracts serve as an essential legal tool to outline expectations, responsibilities, and protections for both parties in a marital...

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How to Handle Your Children’s Emotional Reactions to Divorce

Children, Children in Divorce, Divorce

Divorce is an emotional upheaval for everyone involved, but the impact it has on children can be particularly profound. While...

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Legal Parentage Under the Child‑Parent Security Act (CPSA)

Children, Children in Divorce, Custody, Divorce

Legal Parentage Under the Child‑Parent Security Act (CPSA) The landscape of family formation has changed significantly with the advancement of...

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Does It Matter Who Files for Divorce First?

Divorce, Preparing for divorce

Divorce is never easy. Whether it’s amicable or contentious, the decision to legally end a marriage involves emotional, financial, and...

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The Benefits of Choosing Collaborative Divorce Over Traditional Methods

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

What Is Collaborative Divorce? Collaborative Divorce is an innovative, client-centered approach to resolving disputes outside of the courtroom. Unlike traditional...

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Can You Get a Divorce in New York Without Your Spouse Signing

Divorce

Facing divorce can be overwhelming on its own. But what happens when your spouse refuses to sign the papers or...

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How to Handle Your Children’s Emotional Reactions to Divorce

Children, Divorce

  Divorce is an emotional upheaval for everyone involved, but the impact it has on children can be particularly profound....

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Best NY Prenup Lawyer – Why a Prenuptial Agreement is the Smart Move

Divorce, Prenups & Postnups

Marriage is a significant milestone, one that brings together two lives emotionally, legally, and financially. While most couples focus on...

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What Does “High Asset” Mean In Relation To My Divorce

Divorce, High Asset Divorce, High Net Worth Divorce

  Divorce is never easy, but when large sums of money, investments, and valuable property are involved, the process becomes...

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What to Expect When You File for Divorce: A Comprehensive Overview

Divorce

Filing for divorce can be overwhelming. Our expert New York divorce lawyers guide you through each step, ensuring a smoother...

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Why Do So Many People Get Divorced in January?

Divorce

If you‘ve been considering divorce, you may have heard January referred to as “Divorce Month“ and wondered how much truth...

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Facing the Holidays Right After a Divorce or Separation

Divorce

The holidays can be difficult for anyone, but they can be especially tough for people who have recently gone through...

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Ideas for Handling Child-Related Costs and Finances When Divorcing

Divorce

Deciding how to handle child-related costs and expenses can be one of the most complicated–and contentious–parts of a divorce settlement....

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Secrets to Creative Solutions for Divorcing Couples

Divorce

Taking a cookie-cutter approach to reach an out-of-court divorce settlement isn’t a good idea. Every divorcing person has unique needs,...

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Four Issues That Arise About The House In Divorce

Divorce

One of the most painful aspects of divorce is considering giving up or selling the family home. It’s no surprise...

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What’s Involved in Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce, Mediation

What Should You Know When Deciding to Divorce There is a lot that goes into a divorce, and it can...

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How to Handle Your First Valentine’s Day after Divorce

Divorce

You might have been feeling emotionally strong about your divorce until you see that date on the calendar–Valentine’s Day. Then...

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Is Divorce Part of the New You?

Divorce

January is a time for reevaluation. Of course, there is the New Year’s resolution thing but even if you are...

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Deciding to Divorce: When is it Enough?

Divorce

Deciding whether to end your marriage can be one of the hardest decisions of your life. While we all enter...

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Keeping Conflict Low During A Divorce

Divorce

When contemplating a divorce or separation, most parents start out determined always to do what’s best for the children. But...

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The Best Decisions for Your Children During Divorce

Divorce

When beginning the process of a divorce or separation, most of us are determined to put our children’s best interests...

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Preventing High Conflict from Impacting Children During a Divorce

Divorce

Preventing High Conflict from Impacting Children During a Divorce During a divorce, many couples face an emotional roller coaster. While...

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Use Your Divorce for Positive Transformation

Divorce

A Positive Transformation Divorce is a painful process, no question. Even if you know with all your heart that the...

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Shift #3: Story Shift– Change Your Divorce Story

Divorce

What is your divorce story? Can you change your divorce story? You know…the story you tell yourself about why your...

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Shift #2: Intention Shift – Decide How You Will Be in Divorce

Divorce

Few people realize how much their thoughts about divorce impact their divorce experience. The truth is, your thoughts about how...

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Shift #1: Culture Shift – Transform Your Relationship To Divorce

Divorce

Transforming Your Divorce In our society, we view divorce as an inevitably negative event or experience. When we hear people...

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The Bezos and Gates Friendly Divorces: Is This The New Normal?

Divorce

Ending a marriage can be really tough. It means decoupling finances, divvying up parenting time, and determining key issues like...

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What to Do When You’re Boiling Over with Divorce-Related Rage

Divorce, Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce

It’s normal to feel a sense of rage at one point or another in your divorce journey. You might feel...

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Tools and Resources to Teach You Mindfulness in the Context of your Divorce

Divorce, Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce

If you’ve been following our blog series with family therapist and mindfulness teacher Joree Rose, you’ll have seen how mindfulness...

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How to Avoid Taking Other People’s Words, Actions, and Emotions Personally

Divorce, Divorce mediation

When going through a divorce, you might feel particularly sensitive about how others perceive you. As you make life-changing decisions...

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How to Drill Down to Understand the Root Cause of Triggering Emotions

Divorce

The divorce journey can feel like walking through an emotional minefield–you never know what triggering emotions may cause an explosion…or...

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Building a Mindfulness Practice When Life and Divorce Keep Getting in the Way

Divorce

Many people recognize the value of taking a moment and a deep breath, and getting our emotions under control when...

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How Stress and Mindfulness Impact Your Body and Your Brain

Divorce

Your heart beats faster. Your breath becomes short. Your muscles grow tense. When you’re stressed or anxious, your body goes...

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The Power Of Responding Proactively To Events In Your Divorce

Divorce

During a divorce, it’s easy for emotions to get out of hand. Hurt, sadness, guilt, or fear can cause you...

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The Power of Naming Emotions: How Labeling Your Feelings Can Bring Peace

Divorce

Divorce can feel like one emotional blow after another. First, there’s the pain of realizing that your marriage isn’t going...

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Explore the Power of Meditation and Mindfulness in Your Divorce

Divorce

Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events, second only to the death of a spouse. Even if the split...

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Why is January Called Divorce Month?

Divorce

Marie Claire Dorking says “Hold onto your wedding rings”, the first Monday back to work after the holiday season has...

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Kim Kardashian and Kayne West Divorce: Tips for Divorcing a Spouse with Bipolar Disorder

Divorce

After months of speculation, it seems certain that celebrity couple Kim Kardashian and Kayne West are seeking a divorce. Like...

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Shift #7: Shift On – Enjoy Your Life Do-Over After Divorce

Divorce, Divorce with children

As we said in the initial post of this series, divorce isn’t just an ending, but a beginning. Even if...

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Shift #6: Kids are Shifters Too – Helping Your Children Thrive Post-Divorce

Divorce

Being a parent adds an extra layer of emotional complexity to divorce. You have to grapple with your children’s feelings...

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Shift #4: Shift on Your Ex – Find Peace in Your Divorce

Divorce

You can find peace in your divorce. Our society often relishes tales of nastiness and pain. Gossip magazines feed off...

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Shift #5: Shift the Conversation – Help Loved Ones to Support You in Divorce

Divorce

Friends and family can be a wonderful source of support and comfort when you divorce. But sometimes, their love and...

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Chris Voss and the FBI Approach to Divorce

Divorce, Divorce mediation

When you’re looking up the most stressful jobs in the world, a hostage negotiator such as Chris Voss is right...

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Giving Your Jerk Ex Enough but Not Too Much Space in Divorce

Divorce

Parenting Challenges During and After Divorce With nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, it’s important to consider your...

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Stepping Back Before Re-engaging in Divorce

Divorce

The “Box Step” of Communication in Divorce “Dance is communication, and so the great challenge is to speak clearly, beautifully...

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Steps to Save Your Kids in Divorce

Divorce

Special Tips for Protecting your Kids During Divorce Reports on the effects of divorce on adult children find that “even...

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Parenting Smart Boundaries without Lies or Insults

Divorce

Smart Boundaries: Keeping Children out of the Middle They say good fences make good neighbors. The truth is, good fences...

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Anger Gets You Through Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

Using Anger to Fuel Productivity in Divorce Divorce is a transition and that means that the emotions you feel at...

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Forgiveness After Divorce

Divorce

Giving Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” — Mahatma...

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Conflict: Finding The True You Through Divorce

Divorce

Conflict as Crucible: Finding Your True Self in Divorce This week I sat down with Anne-Louise DePalo and discussed how...

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Collaborative Divorce is the Smart Choice

Divorce

Collaborative Divorce: Capitalizing on Specialization for Better Results If you’ve been to the doctor recently and paused for a moment...

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Happiness After Divorce

Divorce

Becoming “Fully Alive” Through Divorce For some people it’s the first gray hair, the death of an old pet or...

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There’s No Such Thing As “One-Size-Fits-All” Divorce

Divorce

Anne-Louise DePalo and the Danger of the “One-Size-Fits-All” Divorce Divorce is usually a costly affair. Separate from the emotional cost...

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Staying Confident & Owning Your Look

Divorce

Staying Confident & Owning Your Style in Post-Divorce Dating Divorce can be a confidence-shattering experience. You may feel ashamed. You...

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Post-Menopause Make-Over

Divorce

Getting Out There! A Post-Divorce Body & Wardrobe Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “who is that?” It’s...

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Deanna Coyle: “Do the Research” And Other Words of Wisdom

Divorce

We treat emotional recovery differently from physical recovery—or anything else in our lives, for that matter. You wouldn’t just walk...

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When to Learn from Other People’s Experience—and When Not To

Divorce

In the dating world, there’s a relatively new term for an age-old practice of dating and disappearing: ghosting. It might...

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Vesta: A New Way to Create Community

Divorce

A recent headline delivered some sobering and surprising news: Loneliness ‘Time Bomb’ Warning Fueled by Baby Boomer Divorces. The study...

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You’re Not In This Alone: The Empowering Force of Friendship During Divorce

Divorce

Walk down the street and you’ll see people so lost in reading their phones that they almost step out into...

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The Destructive Power of Isolation and How to Avoid It

Divorce

“The worst cruelty that can be inflicted on a human being is isolation.” – Sukarno With busy schedules and a...

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Striking Gold with Divorce Support

Divorce

Deana Coyle, Founder of Vesta: From Isolation to Inspiration  One of the biggest and most painful side-effects of divorce is...

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Liza Caldwell and SAS for Women

Divorce

Liza Caldwell and SAS for Women Divorce isn’t a decision about marriage. It’s a decision about who you are, what...

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The Toughest Divorce Cases

Divorce

Special Challenges to Moving Through the Stages of Divorce “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” –...

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Finding Your Support System During Divorce

Divorce

Getting Support Throughout the Four Stages of Divorce  There’s a lot of talk in popular culture about “meeting friends where...

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Stage Four of Divorce: The New Normal

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Divorce Stage Four or the “New Normal” Catharsis is a beautiful emergence into purity that’s impossible without struggle. It’s...

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Stage Two of Divorce: Hitting the Trigger

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Divorce Stage Two or “Hitting the Trigger” Philosophers, scientists and theologians have long debated the psychology of how...

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Stage Three of Divorce: Something is Changing

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Divorce Stage Three or “Something Is Changing” In relay running, the third leg is often the wildcard. This is...

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Stage One of Divorce: Something is Wrong

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Divorce Stage One or “Something is Wrong” Awareness is a tricky thing. Philosophically speaking, it’s what makes humans...

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The Importance of Preparation According to Seth Godin

Divorce, Preparing for divorce

Finishing Well: What We Can Learn from Seth Godin You need only watch the last minute of the Kentucky Derby...

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Four Stages of Divorce with Liza Caldwell

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Stages of Divorce and How to Move Through Them The only constant in life is change. – Heraclitus...

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Metacommunication: Strategies during Divorce

Divorce

When we get divorced, our communication needs change like a passing storm. Sometimes we need to get rage out. Sometimes...

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Save Yourself: Vital Psychotherapy During Divorce

Divorce

Psychotherapy After Divorce: Why You Should Do It “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.” ― Mo Willems, Goldilocks and...

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Clinging to Core Values to Save Yourself During Divorce

Divorce

Identifying and Living by Your Core Values  It doesn’t take long to realize that your children are watching everything you...

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Divorce is a Threat to our Public Health

Divorce

Divorce as Threat to Public Health With a divorce rate hovering around half of all marriages, it’s safe to say...

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Divorce Expert Deborah Tannen: An Overview

Divorce

Communication is the classic double-edged sword. Not enough communication makes people’s desires, dislikes and fears mysterious and can lay a...

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Beware the Greek Chorus!

Divorce

In classic drama, the Greek Chorus weighs in on opinions about the hero’s actions. It’s a group, but they speak as one....

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Short ‘n’ Sweet Blogs Teach Truisms About Divorce

Divorce

The Front Lines: Stories & Lessons from EmpoweredWomansDivorce.com  There’s no way around it; divorce isn’t easy. We all lean on...

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Fighting Misinformation in the Decision to Divorce

Divorce

When Women Must Consider When Contemplating Divorce  Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. ― Nora Ephron,...

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Dr. Jill Murray Dives into the Threats That Cause Paralyzing Fear in Divorce

Divorce

Breaking out of Paralyzing Fear in Divorce “You’ll never see your children again.” “You’ll be destitute.” “I’m going to ruin...

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Financial Ruin for Women

Divorce

When Marriage isn’t A Fair Financial Partnership  The statistics have made headlines in recent years: women lose major earning potential...

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Understanding the Head and the Heart: The Legal and Emotional Entanglement of Divorce

Divorce, Divorce mediation

Divorce: The Intersection of the Legal and the Emotional  Divorce rattles even the most confident person’s sense of herself. It’s...

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Divorce Psychology and Legal Experts Dr. Murray and Dodge Dive Into The Hardest Divorce Issues

Divorce

Divorce Dream Team: Dr. Jill Murray and Adam Dodge We all know our emotions can affect everything we do. We’re...

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The Danger of Blame & Guilt in Divorce

Divorce

Divorce, in our culture, is seldom blameless. Even in “no-fault” cases, there’s always someone who didn’t do enough, let themselves...

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The Healing the Heart Protocol

Divorce

I recently sat down with Michael Schiesser and Neelama Eyres, Co-authors of Divorced with Love, and co-founders of Inner Journey Institute. They write from the unique perspective...

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Your Brain During Divorce: 5 Situations the Brain is Always Tracking

Divorce

In this post, we explore Dr. David Rock’s ideas about how the brain influences us during divorce and how we...

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Your Brain During Divorce: Can you Change Another Person’s Behavior?

Divorce

In examining brain science, divorce, and negotiation with Dr. David Rock, we’ve tackled how the brain reacts to an emotional...

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Your Brain During Divorce: How Timing & Goals Can Help Avoid Emotional Reactions

Divorce

Dr. David Rock, author of Your Brain at Work, has examined the relationship between emotion and your ability to think...

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Your Brain During Divorce: What Gets in the Way of Rational Analysis?

Divorce

We’ve been speaking with Dr. David Rock, author of the bestseller Your Brain at Work. In this post, we discuss...

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Your Brain During Divorce: How to Have Constructive Interactions During an Emotional Event

Divorce

In our series with Dr. David Rock, we’ve covered how our brain inextricably intertwines logic and emotion, which can make...

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Your Brain During Divorce: Misconceptions About How the Brain Processes Emotions

Divorce

In this series of articles, we’ve been sharing the theories of Dr. David Rock, author of the bestseller, Your Brain...

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Your Brain During Divorce: Why Is It So Hard to Avoid Reacting Emotionally?

Divorce

In this series, we’ve been speaking with Dr. David Rock, the director of The NeuroLeadership Institute, a global initiative bringing...

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Your Brain During Divorce: How the Brain Influences Us

Divorce

Look for the entire series of articles on our conversation with Dr. David Rock, author of the bestseller, Your Brain...

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What to Expect in Collaborative Divorce: a Step-by-Step Guide

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

The collaborative law approach to divorce promises a less-contentious and ultimately kinder, gentler way to dissolve a marriage. But what...

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Stuart Webb Interview Part Two: The Origin of Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

I previously discussed the interview I did with Stuart Webb, creator of “collaborative law”. As a divorce litigator, Stuart saw many...

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Collaborative Divorce: Assembling the Best Team

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

Collaborative divorce is a non-adversarial approach to ending a marriage and was created by Stuart Webb. The process is nothing like...

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Stuart Webb: The Origin of Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

More and more people are wondering, what is collaborative divorce? A simple Amazon search for books on “collaborative divorce” yields hundreds of...

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Splitopia: Writing Exercises for Thriving After Divorce

Divorce

When I spoke with Wendy Paris, author of Splitopia: Dispatches from Today’s Good Divorce and How to Part Well, she...

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Thriving After Divorce: the Case for It

Divorce

It can be easy to think of divorce as an “end”. We even use the terms “ended their marriage” or...

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Self-Empowering Habits That Stick

Divorce

The best way to grow self-empowerment, like anything, is to have it happen automatically, without having to think about it....

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Getting Through Divorce with Self-Compassion and Mindfulness

Divorce

In our culture, it’s popular to practice tough love—with ourselves. We practice “self-discipline”, like to “push ourselves”, and build up...

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What Conventional Wisdom Gets WRONG about Divorce

Divorce

With 40 to 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce in the US, many of us have first-hand experience with...

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What Conventional Wisdom Gets RIGHT about Divorce

Divorce

If you’re starting down the road to divorce, you’re no doubt bombarded by advice—often full of clichés and predictable stereotypes....

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The Hard Lessons of 2018

Divorce

As the end of the year rolls around and the calendar gets thin, it’s time to reflect on the lessons...

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Crafting a “Good Divorce” Against the Odds

Divorce

Imagining a happy marriage is easy. Just flip on the Hallmark Channel and you’ll see cozy homes, good health, stable...

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Negative Misconceptions about Divorce in America

Divorce

When spouses seek divorce today, they enjoy a level of freedom and flexibility that wasn’t available even a decade ago....

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Ending Your Marriage: Coming to Terms with Being Hurt by an Affair

Divorce

Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. Whether the unfaithful spouse moves on to be with the new love interest...

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Counterintuitive Ideas to Bear the Unbearable in Divorce

Divorce

When you’re in the middle of a divorce, or even just considering one, life can get heavy. So heavy, in...

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Surviving Divorce: Acceptance Does Not Equal Forgiveness

Divorce

Acceptance does not equal forgiveness. Forgiveness, according to many, is key to liberating yourself from the feelings of resentment that...

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Resourceful (and Non-Resourceful) Strategies for Coping with Betrayal

Divorce

When you’ve been betrayed by a spouse, it’s easy—and justifiable—to be angry. Our culture is full of songs, movies and...

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Forgiveness After Divorce: When and Why to Aim for It—and What It Really Takes

Divorce

According to the American Psychological Associate, between 40 and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. That statistic can fuel...

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Common Divorce Myths

Divorce

Divorce is a difficult and highly emotional process for everyone involved. When you are going through a divorce, everyone around...

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Start to Finish: Divorcing a High-Conflict Spouse

Divorce

In the last few posts, we’ve addressed some of the particular challenges of divorcing a high-conflict spouse. Since it may...

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Respect and Empathy: Critical Components of Non-Adversarial Dispute Resolution

Divorce

Digging deep within yourself to find empathy and understanding when you’re under attack can feel impossible. Why should you be...

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Why a High-Conflict Divorce is NOT What You Need

Divorce

We all know somebody who has gone through a horrific divorce that has dragged out for years, drained both parties’...

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Tax Law Changes Impact High Net Worth Divorces

Divorce, High Asset Divorce

Statistically speaking, individuals in the United States who have more money do not divorce as often as those with less....

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Divorce and Your Family Business

Divorce

Spouses who have operated a family business throughout their marriage face a particularly difficult situation when their marital relationship deteriorates....

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Boost Your Self-Care with 10 Inspirational Quotations

Divorce

On tough days—and there are always tough days—you may need a quick reminder that you’re on the right path with...

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Clarifying Your Needs in a Negotiation: the Power of the BATNA

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce, Divorce mediation

You feel vulnerable. You don’t totally trust the other party in a negotiation. What can you do to make the...

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Things to Avoid During Divorce

Divorce

Going from being a married couple to being adversaries can be extremely difficult and emotionally draining.  What can make matters...

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Legal Separation: Is it the Right Option for You?

Divorce, Preparing for divorce

When you think of terms that relate to divorce, sometimes the phrase “legal separation” comes to mind.  While many people...

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Divorce and Social Security Benefits

Divorce, Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce

Divorce is never easy no matter what age a person may be.  It is often a lengthy and challenging process...

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What is My Child’s Divorce Story?

Divorce

{2:24 minutes to read} We all know that divorce is hard on kids. My clients truly worry about their children...

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Can Lawyers Be Peacemakers?

Divorce, Divorce mediation

{4:30 minutes to read} Oftentimes, in our modern culture, we think of lawyers as advocates, champions or warriors, but that...

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3 Important Things to Look for in a Mediator

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce, Divorce mediation

{3:30 minutes to read} You’re looking for a mediator? Below are 3 important things to look for in your search.

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3 Reasons to Be Nice to Your Spouse During Your Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{2:40 minutes to read} Reason #1: You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.  You are never going...

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The Best Course of Action for High Conflict Couples

Divorce

Bill Eddy’s Approach Recently, I had an interview with Bill Eddy on my radio show Divorce Dialogues. Bill is a...

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Who Do YOU Want to Be in Your Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:30 minutes to read} Michele Lowrance, in her book The Good Karma Divorce, recommends finding and defining the person you want...

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Should I Mediate My Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

  [2:15 minutes to read} Should you mediate your divorce? People often wonder whether or not they should try to...

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How To Forgive

Divorce

I recently conducted a radio interview (linked at the bottom of the post) with Janis Abrahms Spring, a board-certified clinical...

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National Divorce Month?

Divorce

I got a call a couple of years ago from a local magazine.  According to them, May was National Divorce...

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No Winners in Divorce

Divorce

There are no winners in divorce. Statistically speaking, divorcing couples are overwhelmingly likely to settle their “case” before a judge...

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When Things Seem Impossible

Divorce

Sometimes when people in conflict are negotiating to try to find a solution they come to a point when things...

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Why Litigating May Not be the Choice for You

Divorce

9 OUT OF 10 MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS RECOMMEND NOT LITIGATING FOR THEIR CLIENTS FACING DIVORCE Okay, I didn’t actually facilitate...

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The 4th Step on Your Road to Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

In my last blog post, we talked about the first three steps to divorce: commit to a process; gather information...

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Divorcing Mr. Mom

Divorce

Traditional assumptions about gender roles in marriages may be weakening in today’s marriages but they are going strong in divorce....

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What I Wish People Learned About Marriage and Divorce in High School

Divorce

When I was a little girl, I sometimes looked in the mirror and imagined who I might marry and what...

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Happy or Right?

Divorce

In the Prologue to her book The Dance of Connection, Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. (http://www.harrietlerner.com/) writes of a story she had...

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Surviving Divorce and Thriving

Divorce

Divorce is a painful experience.  People going through divorce feel vulnerable and they very often feel shame.  Think about the...

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When You’re Getting Divorced, Feelings Matter!

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{2:30 minutes to read} Of course, feelings matter! Despite this reality, the way divorce discussions are framed by the law...

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What Makes a Divorce?

Divorce

When you’re living together but plan on separating from your spouse, there really is no change in your legal status....

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The First 3 Steps on Your Road to Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{5:40 minutes to read} I’m in the process of writing a book in which I outline seven steps to getting...

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Taking Care of Yourself While Going Through a Divorce

Divorce

Divorce can impact health and well being, increasing the risk of weight gain or loss, sleeplessness, cardiac issues, depression and...

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Running Your Life Around Divorce: Your Landscape of Commitments

Divorce

Divorce creates temporary uncertainty. Human beings need stability to concentrate and be effective. Neuropsychological research has shown that short-term memory...

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FAQs on Collaborative: How to Make Collaborative Sessions More Productive for You

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

Collaborative Divorce has many finer points that clients and students often ask about. These FAQs posts clarify some of these...

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How Can the 3 Levels of Conflict Improve Problem-Solving?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{4:00 minutes to read} As part of the mediation training we teach at The Center for Understanding in Conflict, we...

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Interest-Based Bargaining: How To Get What You Want (and Give What You Don’t)

Divorce

During traditional negotiations, most people default to what’s known as “position-based” bargaining. Prior to meeting or early during the discussions,...

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Is Divorce Court Dehumanizing?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{2:30 minutes to read} Oftentimes, stereotypically, we think divorcing couples—both the person who decides to divorce and the person who...

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Are You Jumping to Conclusions?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:15 minutes to read} It’s a well-known fact that people living together for a long period of time take each...

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Going Beyond Anxiety and Positional Thinking During a Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:31 minutes to read} When people are divorcing, they are often filled with intense anxiety. They feel compelled to solve...

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The Paradoxical Theory of Change: Can You Defy Expectations?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{2:25 minutes to read} The paradoxical theory of change is an idea that comes out of Gestalt therapy. According to the...

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3 Dynamics That Will Destroy a Relationship

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{4:00 minutes to read} It is not unusual for married couples to develop unhealthy ways of settling disputes between them....

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Creating & Maintaining Calm During Conflict Resolution: Establish Process Groundwork Early On

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:20 minutes to read} Contrary to popular opinion, the fastest divorce is not necessarily the best.  In order to successfully...

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Confused, Scared, and Under Pressure Is No Way to Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:19 minutes to read} Toward the end of any negotiation, a flurry of activity swarms the lives of all the...

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Silence the Greek Chorus: The Importance of Decreasing Anxiety & Increasing Trusted Advisors

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:00 minutes to read} It’s interesting to me that people, in general, offer up advice — some invited, most not...

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An Open Letter to United Airlines: Stop Asking for TMI

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

Oscar Munoz President and CEO United Airlines, Inc. PO Box 06649 Chicago, IL 60606-0649 Dear Mr. Munoz: I am writing...

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Valentine’s Day: A Symbol of Love, or Marriage … or Both?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:15 minutes to read} As the romanticized holiday of Valentine’s Day approaches, I took an informal survey amongst my colleagues,...

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The Key to Successfully Working with High-Conflict Couples: Stick to the Basics!

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{4:30 minutes to read} The heat is rising. Tension is mounting. A crossroad emerges in the mediation session, and it’s...

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The Secret Language of Couples: What Lies Beneath the Words?

Divorce

{3:00 minutes to read}  Am I correct in understanding that this is what you meant?  vs.  Is THAT what you...

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Using Transparency In Your Practice: Be Present, Effective & Authentic

Divorce

{3:35 minutes to read} Have you ever read a book that you found so incredibly helpful that you immediately had...

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Surprise! People Using Ashley Madison Have No Intention of Divorcing

Divorce

{2:10 minutes to read} As a divorce lawyer, I often hear people’s stories of infidelity, whether or not they are pursuing...

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Don’t Make Things Worse: Four Tips for Effective Communication during Divorce

Divorce

Even in the best of cases, going through a divorce is going to be difficult.  There are a lot of...

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DOES HUMANITY HAVE A PLACE IN THE LAW?

Divorce

Should the law support what is important to us in our lives or should we resolve conflicts based on case...

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PUT ON YOUR GLASSES: CLARITY IS IN THE EYE OF THE DIVORCEE

Divorce

When I graduated from college, I moved to Washington to live with my boyfriend. I decided it wasn’t going to...

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YOU’RE GOING TO SETTLE. BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU HIRE.

Divorce

In New York, 97% of divorce cases are settled before a judge makes a decision after a trial. That’s a...

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LIFE AFTER DIVORCE – IT’S NOT SO SCARY

Divorce

People’s stories are so incredible. Their lives are overflowing with drama, with poignant moments, with scary and wonderful things, with...

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WHAT WILL YOUR DIVORCE STORY BE?

Divorce

When going through a divorce, you have a unique opportunity to craft the rest of your life – to write...

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SUPREME COURT STRIKES DOWN THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT

Divorce

Today was a big day for same-sex marriage. The Supreme Court issued its decision in a case called United States...

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RETIREMENT ASSETS & DIVORCE: AN INTERVIEW WITH SARA STANICH

Divorce

A Divorce Resource interview with Sara Stanich, Certified Financial Planner and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. Sara takes us through the...

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Divorced at Christmas

Divorce

Christmas is often the hardest time for divorced parents. Especially for the newly separated, it can be agonizing to be...

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FAMILY PETS IN DIVORCE

Divorce

I am a dog lover. I have had dogs my entire adult life and I love them so it was...

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A Child’s “Best Divorce Ever”

Divorce

The “Best Divorce Ever”…from a Child’s Perspective With the divorce rate hovering between 40 and 50 percent of marriages—and higher...

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The Long-Distance Divorce

Divorce

These days it is increasingly common for couples to decide to live separately without starting the divorce process.  Over time,...

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All About QDROs

Divorce

If you are dividing retirement assets in your divorce, it’s critical to obtain a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) before...

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Common Issues with Pensions During Divorce and How to Handle Them

Divorce

A pension can be one of the most significant assets in a divorce. Even if only one spouse earned the...

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The Four Biggest Mistakes People Make in Divorce Settlements

Divorce

Financial matters are a concern among virtually all divorcing couples. Most people worry about how their lives will change on...

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Steps To Lower Your High Child Support in New York

Child Support, Children in Divorce, Divorce, Divorce with children

If you’re a parent in New York struggling under the weight of high child support payments, you’re not alone.  Throughout...

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What to Do if Divorce Sets Off a Mental Health Crisis in You or Your Ex?

Divorce

Divorce can bring on a host of emotions, from relief to frustration to bittersweet happiness. Sometimes these emotions can barrel...

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Miserable on Paper: Finding Hidden Joy and Hope in Divorce

Divorce

“The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling...

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Mental Health Issues and Divorce

Divorce

Going through a divorce is a trying process for everyone involved.  When a partner in a relationship has a psychiatric...

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Divorce Financial Disaster

Divorce

When (if Ever) is “Cost-Effective Divorce” Possible? Imagine this scenario: after years of marriage, kids and a mortgage, a couple...

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Compelling Evidence That Collaborative Divorce Works

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

Divorce is inevitably an emotional journey, but it doesn’t have to be a hostile one. Collaborative divorce is a way...

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Property Division During a New York and Connecticut Divorce

Divorce, High Asset Divorce

Marriage is a financial partnership in which both spouses contribute to the whole rather than the individual. Regardless of what...

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Should I Wait To Divorce After The Holidays Or Do It Now?

Children in Divorce, Divorce, Holidays

The festive season is upon us, a time of year when we gather with family and friends to share joy,...

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Divorce and Your Estate Plan

Divorce

When people marry they often make preparations which include taking out insurance policies, making health care and financial directives, drafting...

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Holding On To Your Horses: Navigating Equine Assets in Divorce

Animals in Divorce, Divorce

Divorce proceedings are complex and fraught with emotional and financial challenges, and when horses are part of the marital assets,...

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Tips On How To Survive Divorce During The Holiday Season

Divorce, Holidays

Navigating the holiday season amidst a divorce can feel like trying to dance gracefully on a tightrope — balancing emotions,...

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Finding Your Voice: Strategies to Help You Speak Up for Yourself During Divorce Mediation

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce, Divorce mediation

The Miller Law Group is pleased to provide this guest post by Meghan Freed, Esq., co-founder of award-winning Connecticut divorce...

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Thanksgiving Challenge: Giving Thanks and Staying Positive

Divorce

By Joy A. Dryer, PhD. Giving thanks on Thanksgiving can be a challenge when you are divorced. You may be...

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What Will Get You “Cancelled” in Divorce? Don’t Do These 3 Divorce No-Nos.

Divorce, Divorce mediation, High Asset Divorce

Maintaining a civil relationship with your spouse during divorce can be a real challenge, but it is worth it. Being...

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Understanding ‘Stuckness’ in Marriage Through the Lens of Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

Being “stuck” in a marriage evokes an image of sinking slowly into quicksand. No matter how much you struggle, there’s...

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Navigating the Path Together: The Power of Collaborative Divorce in 2023

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

Divorce has become an inevitable part of many journeys in the complex landscape of modern relationships. Exploring evolving approaches to...

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Westchester Visitation Lawyer

Divorce, Preparing for divorce

Visitation rights are one of the most critical issues for any couple going through a divorce. The initial divorce, child...

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The Intersection Of Estate Planning And Divorce

Divorce, Prenups & Postnups

Think through the impact of your divorce on your estate plan, so that the two pieces work seamlessly together, instead...

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Divorce After a Long Marriage: How to Rebuild Your Life

Divorce

You stayed with your spouse far longer than you should have, but you‘ve finally pulled the plug and gotten divorced....

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What Is Divorce Coaching And How Can It Help?

Divorce

Harriet Lerner writes in The Dance of Connection, “Perhaps nothing leaves us more vulnerable than the threat of relationship loss....

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Conflict Resolution: Change Your Perspective

Divorce, Divorce mediation

Find some objectivity to translate conflict into problem-solving. I have a dear old friend who I value for her willingness...

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Mother And Daughter Relationship During Divorce

Children in Divorce, Divorce

The mother and daughter relationship is unique. There’s a special bond forged through a lifetime of advice, companionship, strength, and...

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We Are Thinking About Divorce, Can I Move Out?

Divorce, Preparing for divorce

Move Out in Divorce “My wife wants me to move out.” We hear this sentence frequently. Oftentimes, the spouse says...

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Actions As Evidence: How Your Threats and Insults Can Cost you Custody

Custody, Divorce, Divorce with children, Family Court

Actions As Evidence: Shifting Your Mindset in Divorce  Divorce can be disorienting. Things you thought you knew about your spouse...

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Divorce After An Affair

Adultery, Divorce

I frequently meet with new clients shortly after they or their spouses have revealed or discovered an affair. This is...

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Divorce When The Woman Is The Breadwinner

Divorce, High Asset Divorce

Does It Make A Difference If The Woman Is The Breadwinner? It’s human nature to want to call money “yours”...

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Threats As Evidence In Divorce

Divorce

The Right Way to Deal with Legal Threats As Evidence In Divorce “I was never ruined but twice—once when I...

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PROTECTING CHILDREN IN DIVORCE

Children in Divorce, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

I had been a divorce litigator for 10 years when I faced divorce myself. At the time, I was spending...

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How to Move on After Divorce

Divorce

People in the process of divorce find themselves at the intersection of what was and what will be. That intersection...

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Reproductive Technology Law

Divorce, Reproductive Technology

Families are built in a variety of wondrous ways. When your family-building journey involves assisted reproductive technology, surrogates, gestational carriers,...

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Westchester Post Divorce Estate Planning Lawyer

Divorce, Post-Divorce, Preparing for divorce

After a divorce, everything changes — even your estate planning needs. As part of finalizing matters and moving forward with...

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Calculating Spousal Maintenance in Westchester

Divorce

When a couple goes through a divorce, it can have a significant economic impact on both spouses, and it can...

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Recap: Interview with Divorce Expert Deborah Tannen

Divorce

Katherine sat down with renowned professor, author and expert Dr. Deborah Tannen. She is the University Professor and Professor of Linguistics...

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Love & Loss (and Divorce) Stories with Some Truth

Divorce

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”  ― Leo Tolstoy , Anna Karenina” Drama—in literature,...

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The Pleasure and Pitfalls of Sharing Divorce Talk with Sisters and Friends

Divorce

“A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves—a special kind of double.”...

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Identifying—and Using—Your Conversational Style

Divorce

It’s fun to take online quizzes, learn our personality type, figure out what your true calling is, who your friends...

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Why’s It SO HARD for People to Finish Divorce?

Divorce, Divorce mediation

{5:00 minutes to read} One thing that is a very well known professional phenomenon is that, when people get toward...

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How a collaborative divorce can save couples money

Divorce

On behalf of Katherine Miller Non-adversarial approach can help avoid costly litigation Although collaborative divorce has been around for a...

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Cultivating Emotional Intelligence: Not Me vs. You but Me and You

Divorce

Intense emotional conflict often fuels the problems that lead to divorce, and divorce itself challenges even the most emotionally even-keeled...

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