Blog

Why Do So Many People Get Divorced in January?

Divorce

If you‘ve been considering divorce, you may have heard January referred to as “Divorce Month“ and wondered how much truth...

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Facing the Holidays Right After a Divorce or Separation

Divorce

The holidays can be difficult for anyone, but they can be especially tough for people who have recently gone through...

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Dividing School Expenses During Divorce

Children in Divorce, Coparenting

Dividing Up School Expenses Being in financial limbo can sometimes be the most stressful part of separation and divorce. You...

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Making Child Care Decisions During Divorce

Children in Divorce, Coparenting

Divorce and Childcare: Who Hires the Sitter and Who Pays the Sitter It’s that time of year. Fall is in...

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Multiple Kids, Multiple Schools: Keeping Things Straight After a Divorce

Coparenting

Juggling two or more kids at multiple schools can be difficult for any family. But the task becomes even more...

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Secrets to Creative Solutions for Divorcing Couples

Divorce

Taking a cookie-cutter approach to reach an out-of-court divorce settlement isn’t a good idea. Every divorcing person has unique needs,...

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7 Tips for Parenting With A Narcissist – Part II

Family Court

Parenting with a narcissist is complicated. Some actions as criticizing the narcissistic parent to the children will increase the lack...

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7 Tips for Parenting With A Narcissist – Part I

Family Court

Parenting with a narcissist seems like an impossibility. Truthfully you’re not really going to be parenting with them, it’s more...

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Four Issues That Arise About The House In Divorce

Divorce

One of the most painful aspects of divorce is considering giving up or selling the family home. It’s no surprise...

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The Science of Making the Decision to Divorce

Preparing for divorce

Nothing is more personal than the decision to divorce. No one else can tell you when the moment is right....

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Coping Strategies When Considering Divorce

Preparing for divorce

If you’re deeply unhappy in your marriage but aren’t ready to take the next step, you’ll need to find coping...

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4 Questions to Ask When Deciding to Divorce

Preparing for divorce

As a divorce lawyer, it’s not unusual for people to come to our office multiple times before finally deciding to...

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What’s Involved in Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce, Mediation

What Should You Know When Deciding to Divorce There is a lot that goes into a divorce, and it can...

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How to Handle Your First Valentine’s Day after Divorce

Divorce

You might have been feeling emotionally strong about your divorce until you see that date on the calendar–Valentine’s Day. Then...

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Is Divorce Part of the New You?

Divorce

January is a time for reevaluation. Of course, there is the New Year’s resolution thing but even if you are...

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Visitation and Co-parenting After Divorce

Family Court

One of the most difficult parts of coparenting can be navigating visitation after divorce and parenting time. Often one parent...

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Deciding to Divorce: When is it Enough?

Divorce

Deciding whether to end your marriage can be one of the hardest decisions of your life. While we all enter...

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Challenging Coparenting Times: Holidays & Visitation

Family Court

Being divorced during the holidays can be challenging for you and your kids. Holiday visitation during divorce  can often raise...

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The Best Decisions for Your Children During Divorce

Divorce

When beginning the process of a divorce or separation, most of us are determined to put our children’s best interests...

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Preventing High Conflict from Impacting Children During a Divorce

Divorce

Preventing High Conflict from Impacting Children During a Divorce During a divorce, many couples face an emotional roller coaster. While...

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Use Your Divorce for Positive Transformation

Divorce

A Positive Transformation Divorce is a painful process, no question. Even if you know with all your heart that the...

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How to Bring Calm to Your Home if Your Kids Take Opposing Sides in Divorce –and Your Hostile Ex is No Help

Family Court

When parents are getting divorced, the children may take sides with one or the other, even if you’ve tried to...

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Shift #3: Story Shift– Change Your Divorce Story

Divorce

What is your divorce story? Can you change your divorce story? You know…the story you tell yourself about why your...

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Shift #2: Intention Shift – Decide How You Will Be in Divorce

Divorce

Few people realize how much their thoughts about divorce impact their divorce experience. The truth is, your thoughts about how...

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Shift #1: Culture Shift – Transform Your Relationship To Divorce

Divorce

Transforming Your Divorce In our society, we view divorce as an inevitably negative event or experience. When we hear people...

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What if You Win Child Custody, but Your Child Wants to Live With Your Former Spouse?

Family Court

Ask most anyone going through the divorce process, and they will tell you: child custody issues are at the top...

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The Bezos and Gates Friendly Divorces: Is This The New Normal?

Divorce

Ending a marriage can be really tough. It means decoupling finances, divvying up parenting time, and determining key issues like...

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What Happens to Social Security and Other Benefits if You Divorce?

Post-Divorce

Divorce usually means having to adjust to a new financial situation and budget. If you receive or planned to receive...

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What to Do When You’re Boiling Over with Divorce-Related Rage

Divorce, Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce

It’s normal to feel a sense of rage at one point or another in your divorce journey. You might feel...

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Tools and Resources to Teach You Mindfulness in the Context of your Divorce

Divorce, Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce

If you’ve been following our blog series with family therapist and mindfulness teacher Joree Rose, you’ll have seen how mindfulness...

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How to Avoid Taking Other People’s Words, Actions, and Emotions Personally

Divorce, Divorce mediation

When going through a divorce, you might feel particularly sensitive about how others perceive you. As you make life-changing decisions...

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How to Drill Down to Understand the Root Cause of Triggering Emotions

Divorce

The divorce journey can feel like walking through an emotional minefield–you never know what triggering emotions may cause an explosion…or...

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Building a Mindfulness Practice When Life and Divorce Keep Getting in the Way

Divorce

Many people recognize the value of taking a moment and a deep breath, and getting our emotions under control when...

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How Stress and Mindfulness Impact Your Body and Your Brain

Divorce

Your heart beats faster. Your breath becomes short. Your muscles grow tense. When you’re stressed or anxious, your body goes...

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Can Mediation Work if You Don’t Trust Your Spouse?

Mediation

It’s a fair question. If your relationship was overflowing with trust, perhaps one or both of you wouldn’t want a...

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The Power Of Responding Proactively To Events In Your Divorce

Divorce

During a divorce, it’s easy for emotions to get out of hand. Hurt, sadness, guilt, or fear can cause you...

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Shift #4: Shift on Your Ex – Find Peace in Your Divorce

Divorce

You can find peace in your divorce. Our society often relishes tales of nastiness and pain. Gossip magazines feed off...

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Shift #5: Shift the Conversation – Help Loved Ones to Support You in Divorce

Divorce

Friends and family can be a wonderful source of support and comfort when you divorce. But sometimes, their love and...

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Stepping Back Before Re-engaging in Divorce

Divorce

The “Box Step” of Communication in Divorce “Dance is communication, and so the great challenge is to speak clearly, beautifully...

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Treating Your Relationship with your Ex Like Work after Divorce

Post-Divorce

Parenting as a Business Relationship Post-Divorce “The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.” ― Joseph Priestley Divorce...

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Kids Playing Favorites in Divorce

Family Court

When Kids Are Playing Favorites in Divorce “Playing favorites” is an age-old pastime for toddlers through teenagers. It can be...

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Post-Divorce Online Dating

Post-Divorce

Getting Out There! Misconceptions about Online Dating Online dating is no longer something out of the ordinary. Nearly 70% of US...

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Post-Divorce Make-Over on a Budget

Post-Divorce

Refurbishing Your Wardrobe on a Post-Divorce Budget They say you dress in the era you were happiest in. Unfortunately, if...

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Post-Menopause Make-Over

Divorce

Getting Out There! A Post-Divorce Body & Wardrobe Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “who is that?” It’s...

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Post-Divorce Make-Over

Post-Divorce

Alyssa Dineen: Self-Esteem and Dating Post-Divorce  Divorce permeates every part of our lives, from where we live to how often...

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Taking the Leap: Dates After Divorce

Post-Divorce

How to Know When You’re Ready to Date Post-Divorce Worrying about what to wear. Checking your hair for the 50th...

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Deanna Coyle: “Do the Research” And Other Words of Wisdom

Divorce

We treat emotional recovery differently from physical recovery—or anything else in our lives, for that matter. You wouldn’t just walk...

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When to Learn from Other People’s Experience—and When Not To

Divorce

In the dating world, there’s a relatively new term for an age-old practice of dating and disappearing: ghosting. It might...

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Vesta: A New Way to Create Community

Divorce

A recent headline delivered some sobering and surprising news: Loneliness ‘Time Bomb’ Warning Fueled by Baby Boomer Divorces. The study...

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You’re Not In This Alone: The Empowering Force of Friendship During Divorce

Divorce

Walk down the street and you’ll see people so lost in reading their phones that they almost step out into...

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Striking Gold with Divorce Support

Divorce

Deana Coyle, Founder of Vesta: From Isolation to Inspiration  One of the biggest and most painful side-effects of divorce is...

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Dividing High Net Worth Marital Assets When One Spouse Built a Successful Business

High Asset Divorce

Special Divorce Challenges When One Spouse Built a Successful Business “Starting your own business isn’t just a job – it’s...

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All Divorces Are Basically the Same

High Asset Divorce

What High Net Worth Splits Have in Common With all Divorces While high net worth divorces have their own special...

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Developing an Analysis of Your Financial Needs During Your High Net Worth Divorce

High Asset Divorce

Solving for Financial Peace with a Needs-Based Analysis “Wealth after all is a relative thing since he that has little and...

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Ramifications of a High Net Worth Divorce with Inherited Wealth

High Asset Divorce

The Source of Wealth in a High Net Worth Divorce: How This Can Complicate Your Divorce “It is a truth...

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Ramifications of Divorcing Out of a High Net Worth Family

High Asset Divorce

The Challenges of Divorcing Out of a High Net Worth Family “For I don’t care too much for money, for...

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Understanding the Issues Unique to High Net Worth Divorce Can Empower You

High Asset Divorce

Empowering Yourself Through a High Net Worth Divorce A divorce is a divorce to some extent. But when a divorce...

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The Toughest Divorce Cases

Divorce

Special Challenges to Moving Through the Stages of Divorce “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” –...

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Finding Your Support System During Divorce

Divorce

Getting Support Throughout the Four Stages of Divorce  There’s a lot of talk in popular culture about “meeting friends where...

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Stage Four of Divorce: The New Normal

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Divorce Stage Four or the “New Normal” Catharsis is a beautiful emergence into purity that’s impossible without struggle. It’s...

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Stage Two of Divorce: Hitting the Trigger

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Divorce Stage Two or “Hitting the Trigger” Philosophers, scientists and theologians have long debated the psychology of how...

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Stage Three of Divorce: Something is Changing

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Divorce Stage Three or “Something Is Changing” In relay running, the third leg is often the wildcard. This is...

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Stage One of Divorce: Something is Wrong

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Divorce Stage One or “Something is Wrong” Awareness is a tricky thing. Philosophically speaking, it’s what makes humans...

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Four Stages of Divorce with Liza Caldwell

Divorce

Liza Caldwell: Stages of Divorce and How to Move Through Them The only constant in life is change. – Heraclitus...

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Divorce Psychology and Legal Experts Dr. Murray and Dodge Dive Into The Hardest Divorce Issues

Divorce

Divorce Dream Team: Dr. Jill Murray and Adam Dodge We all know our emotions can affect everything we do. We’re...

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What Conventional Wisdom Gets WRONG about Divorce

Divorce

With 40 to 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce in the US, many of us have first-hand experience with...

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Surviving Divorce: Acceptance Does Not Equal Forgiveness

Divorce

Acceptance does not equal forgiveness. Forgiveness, according to many, is key to liberating yourself from the feelings of resentment that...

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Resourceful (and Non-Resourceful) Strategies for Coping with Betrayal

Divorce

When you’ve been betrayed by a spouse, it’s easy—and justifiable—to be angry. Our culture is full of songs, movies and...

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Forgiveness After Divorce: When and Why to Aim for It—and What It Really Takes

Divorce

According to the American Psychological Associate, between 40 and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. That statistic can fuel...

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Start to Finish: Divorcing a High-Conflict Spouse

Divorce

In the last few posts, we’ve addressed some of the particular challenges of divorcing a high-conflict spouse. Since it may...

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Successfully Navigating Mediation: Beyond the Myths and Misconceptions

Mediation

In this series of posts, we’ve begun an in-depth conversation about divorce mediation—from the strategies that empower participants to reach...

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Finding Happiness with Life Lessons Learned in Mediation

Mediation

One of the most frustrating and disappointing thoughts about divorce is that it’s an un-doing, a move in reverse, when...

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Mediation of All Shapes and Sizes

Mediation

While divorce mediations have underlying human emotions that naturally surface in negotiations, the cases themselves are as varied as marriages—or...

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Dealing with Misunderstandings (and Other Hiccups) During Mediation

Mediation

Using mediation to end a marriage empowers participants to communicate their desires without the limitations, public record and the formality...

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Boost Your Self-Care with 10 Inspirational Quotations

Divorce

On tough days—and there are always tough days—you may need a quick reminder that you’re on the right path with...

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Things to Avoid During Divorce

Divorce

Going from being a married couple to being adversaries can be extremely difficult and emotionally draining.  What can make matters...

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Divorce and Social Security Benefits

Divorce, Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce

Divorce is never easy no matter what age a person may be.  It is often a lengthy and challenging process...

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3 Important Things to Look for in a Mediator

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce, Divorce mediation

{3:30 minutes to read} You’re looking for a mediator? Below are 3 important things to look for in your search.

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3 Reasons to Be Nice to Your Spouse During Your Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{2:40 minutes to read} Reason #1: You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.  You are never going...

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Who Do YOU Want to Be in Your Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:30 minutes to read} Michele Lowrance, in her book The Good Karma Divorce, recommends finding and defining the person you want...

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Should I Mediate My Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

  [2:15 minutes to read} Should you mediate your divorce? People often wonder whether or not they should try to...

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No Winners in Divorce

Divorce

There are no winners in divorce. Statistically speaking, divorcing couples are overwhelmingly likely to settle their “case” before a judge...

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When You’re Getting Divorced, Feelings Matter!

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{2:30 minutes to read} Of course, feelings matter! Despite this reality, the way divorce discussions are framed by the law...

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The First 3 Steps on Your Road to Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{5:40 minutes to read} I’m in the process of writing a book in which I outline seven steps to getting...

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How Can the 3 Levels of Conflict Improve Problem-Solving?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{4:00 minutes to read} As part of the mediation training we teach at The Center for Understanding in Conflict, we...

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Going Beyond Anxiety and Positional Thinking During a Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:31 minutes to read} When people are divorcing, they are often filled with intense anxiety. They feel compelled to solve...

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The Paradoxical Theory of Change: Can You Defy Expectations?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{2:25 minutes to read} The paradoxical theory of change is an idea that comes out of Gestalt therapy. According to the...

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3 Dynamics That Will Destroy a Relationship

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{4:00 minutes to read} It is not unusual for married couples to develop unhealthy ways of settling disputes between them....

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Creating & Maintaining Calm During Conflict Resolution: Establish Process Groundwork Early On

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:20 minutes to read} Contrary to popular opinion, the fastest divorce is not necessarily the best.  In order to successfully...

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Confused, Scared, and Under Pressure Is No Way to Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:19 minutes to read} Toward the end of any negotiation, a flurry of activity swarms the lives of all the...

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Silence the Greek Chorus: The Importance of Decreasing Anxiety & Increasing Trusted Advisors

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

{3:00 minutes to read} It’s interesting to me that people, in general, offer up advice — some invited, most not...

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An Open Letter to United Airlines: Stop Asking for TMI

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

Oscar Munoz President and CEO United Airlines, Inc. PO Box 06649 Chicago, IL 60606-0649 Dear Mr. Munoz: I am writing...

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The Secret Language of Couples: What Lies Beneath the Words?

Divorce

{3:00 minutes to read}  Am I correct in understanding that this is what you meant?  vs.  Is THAT what you...

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Can Communicating Your Needs Save You from a Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce

{3:40 minutes to read} As a divorce attorney, I am often asked: What leads people to divorce? Is it problems...

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3 Ways To Avoid Being An Evil Stepmother

Family Court

What Fairy Tales Say Fairy Tales have taught us that stepmothers are harsh taskmasters and purveyors of poisoned apples. Truthfully,...

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All About QDROs

Divorce

If you are dividing retirement assets in your divorce, it’s critical to obtain a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) before...

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Common Issues with Pensions During Divorce and How to Handle Them

Divorce

A pension can be one of the most significant assets in a divorce. Even if only one spouse earned the...

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The Four Biggest Mistakes People Make in Divorce Settlements

Divorce

Financial matters are a concern among virtually all divorcing couples. Most people worry about how their lives will change on...

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What to Do if Divorce Sets Off a Mental Health Crisis in You or Your Ex?

Divorce

Divorce can bring on a host of emotions, from relief to frustration to bittersweet happiness. Sometimes these emotions can barrel...

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Miserable on Paper: Finding Hidden Joy and Hope in Divorce

Divorce

“The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling...

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Financial Transparency is the Best Solution During a High Net Worth Divorce

High Asset Divorce

Creating the Ground Rules for Financial Transparency “Taking a thing apart is always faster than putting something together. This is...

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You Want a Prenup, Your Significant Other Does Not

Prenups & Postnups

You love your partner and have confidence in your future marriage, but you think entering a prenuptial agreement is wise....

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Getting Married for the First Time in Your 40s: Why You Need a Prenuptial Agreement

Prenups & Postnups

If you’re marrying for the first time in your 40s, entering a prenuptial agreement becomes especially important. You’re most likely...

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Parenting & Divorce: The Impacts of Divorce

Children, Children in Divorce, Family Court

I attended a great panel talk the other week on parenting through divorce. The talk was organized by Elise Pettus,...

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Parenting & Divorce: Typical Child Behaviors

Children, Children in Divorce, Family Court

I attended a great panel talk the other week on parenting through divorce. The talk was organized by Elise Pettus,...

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Parenting & Divorce: Tips For Parents

Children, Children in Divorce, Family Court

I attended a great panel talk the other week on parenting through divorce. The talk was organized by Elise Pettus,...

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Property Division During a New York and Connecticut Divorce

Divorce, High Asset Divorce

Marriage is a financial partnership in which both spouses contribute to the whole rather than the individual. Regardless of what...

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Calming Your Kids’ Anxieties About Splitting Time Over the Holidays

Children in Divorce, Coparenting

The holidays are a time of wonder and excitement for children. While parents do their best to keep this season...

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Newly Divorced Over the Holidays? Dos and Don’ts for Making Holiday Plans

Divorce with children

The first holiday season after a divorce can be difficult for everyone. Parents may find themselves taking on new responsibilities...

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Westchester Visitation Lawyer

Divorce, Preparing for divorce

Visitation rights are one of the most critical issues for any couple going through a divorce. The initial divorce, child...

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Divorce After a Long Marriage: How to Rebuild Your Life

Divorce

You stayed with your spouse far longer than you should have, but you‘ve finally pulled the plug and gotten divorced....

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What Is Divorce Coaching And How Can It Help?

Divorce

Harriet Lerner writes in The Dance of Connection, “Perhaps nothing leaves us more vulnerable than the threat of relationship loss....

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Parental Alienation: Everything You Need To Know

Children in Divorce, Divorce with children, Family Court

Recently I spoke to Charlie Jamison on my radio show, Divorce Dialogues. Charlie is a Board-certified Marital and Family Law...

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Post-Divorce Dating Profiles That Work

Dating, Post-Divorce

Getting Out There! Do’s and Don’ts of an Online Dating Profile With nearly 2,500 online dating sites in the US alone,...

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Divorce When The Woman Is The Breadwinner

Divorce, High Asset Divorce

Does It Make A Difference If The Woman Is The Breadwinner? It’s human nature to want to call money “yours”...

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Westchester Post Divorce Estate Planning Lawyer

Divorce, Post-Divorce, Preparing for divorce

After a divorce, everything changes — even your estate planning needs. As part of finalizing matters and moving forward with...

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Calculating Spousal Maintenance in Westchester

Divorce

When a couple goes through a divorce, it can have a significant economic impact on both spouses, and it can...

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Dos and Don’ts for Giving Gifts to Your Kids Over the Holidays After Divorce

Children in Divorce

For many parents, the best part of the holiday season is watching their children’s eyes light up as they tear...

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Child Custody Decisions & Sports Safety

Children in Divorce, Coparenting

Divorce and Co-parenting: Who Has the Final Say About Dangerous Sports? Co-parenting can be challenging under the best of circumstances....

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Recap: Interview with Divorce Expert Deborah Tannen

Divorce

Katherine sat down with renowned professor, author and expert Dr. Deborah Tannen. She is the University Professor and Professor of Linguistics...

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Love & Loss (and Divorce) Stories with Some Truth

Divorce

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”  ― Leo Tolstoy , Anna Karenina” Drama—in literature,...

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Identifying—and Using—Your Conversational Style

Divorce

It’s fun to take online quizzes, learn our personality type, figure out what your true calling is, who your friends...

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The Value of Neutral Financial Professionals

Preparing for divorce

It’s never “just about the money.” That is a common phrase amongst professionals who work with people in conflict. Money...

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Why’s It SO HARD for People to Finish Divorce?

Divorce, Divorce mediation

{5:00 minutes to read} One thing that is a very well known professional phenomenon is that, when people get toward...

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How a collaborative divorce can save couples money

Divorce

On behalf of Katherine Miller Non-adversarial approach can help avoid costly litigation Although collaborative divorce has been around for a...

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A New Marriage Contract on Dignity

Preparing for divorce

Recently, I had an interview with Donna Hicks on my radio show Divorce Dialogues. We discussed the importance of giving...

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The Vicious Cycle of Vulnerability

Preparing for divorce

Recently, I had an interview with Donna Hicks on my radio show Divorce Dialogues. We discussed the importance of giving...

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Dignity in Divorce

Preparing for divorce

Recently, I had an interview with Donna Hicks on my radio show Divorce Dialogues. Donna is a dignity expert who...

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What it Takes to Divorce

Preparing for divorce

I recently conducted a radio interview (linked at the bottom of the post) with Janis Abrahms Spring, a board-certified clinical...

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Picking Your Lawyer and Picking Who You Want To Be in Divorce

Preparing for divorce

My best advice from years in the courtroom–as well as years in Collaborative and Mediation conference rooms–is that people should...

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Cultivating Emotional Intelligence: Not Me vs. You but Me and You

Divorce

Intense emotional conflict often fuels the problems that lead to divorce, and divorce itself challenges even the most emotionally even-keeled...

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